Sunday, July 8, 2012

Excalinferno Part II: Go Go Goblin Princess!

It took the rest of Excalibur the better part of a day to reach New York, but it only took a few minutes for Meggan to lose control of her mind. Y'see, Meggan's a magical faerie creature capable of transforming herself to please whatever prevalent mood or mindset she finds herself in. She has no real control over this power, so guess what happens to her when she's hovering over a demon infested city of millions that reeks of evil? 



Yeah... You guessed it.


Quickly forgetting she ever was a good guy to start with, Meggan dumped Nightcrawler and sought out the leader of the demon horde N'astirh... who was ever so pleased with his new follower.


Just take a minute to really read the dialogue. It just oozes pure S&M roleplay. "This will hurt", the master warns his slave... "I don't mind", she answers to her master's pleasure. "Even better." Remember how Marvel used to market this as an all ages fun and games book? ... Sigh.


Thus was born... the Goblin Princess. Not quite as evil as the Jean Grey clone turned sour Madelyne Pryor, but still pretty nasty as she soon proved while tormenting her teammates.



Now, precious... I have you forever!"

The Goblin Princess is basically still Meggan, with all her insecurities about herself and her relationship with Captain Britain intact. So it makes sense she would focus her newfound might on him first, by mind controlling him.Shadowcat phases inside the movie theatre and quickly realises she might be in wayyy over her head.





Yup, that's Captain Britain as the Goblin Princess' champion, a warped amalgam of 80s movie icons  like Rambo (the guns & headband), Freddie Krueger (the fingerclaws) and an axe from any generic horror slasher, but lets say The Shining.




Yes, yes, we're still reading Excalibur: the all ages fun book. Try and explain that to your children when they come crawling into bed with you, crying about nightmares after reading this issue.
Also: nice slice of strawberry cheesecake there, Kitty...



Meanwhile, Nightcrawler found himself under attack by the weirdness of Inferno, which caused inanimate objects to come to life and attack the living. In this case, all the mannequins in a department store who attacked the living in a zombie like frenzy. Nightcrawler coulda sworn he saw Rachel in a wedding dress in the store window, but look who is assaulting him...



Using his teleportation powers, Nightcrawler freed the Phoenix-like mannequin from the horde of dolls, ready to unite the doll with the real Rachel. But Kurt'd better hurry up, because the demonic priest who was ready to marry Rachel with the demon Crotus is about ready to join them together in whatever passes for holy matrimony...


Still, Kurt wasn't the only member of Excalibur who was having troubling cutting through the Inferno madness. Luckily, Kitty found herself with a sword. Thanks to her close friendship with Limbo's former ruler Illyana Rasputin, Kitty manifested the Magik armour ánd the enchantment ending soulsword. One swipe of that blade can end any and all magic spells. Alas, sometimes the sword is nowhere near as quick as the spoken word...


Ahh, talk about an almost perfect case of mind control... The Goblin Princess suffers from an ever so convenient spell of weakness while transforming Kitty into an actual Shadowcat, giving her enough time to use her soulsword fascimile...



One slice of the sword reverted the Captain back to his old self, and another hurl of her blade did the same for Meggan...


With Meggan reverting back to her old self, all that's left is getting Rachel back from her marriage to the demon Crotus. Take it home, Nightcrawler...




Having Kurt throw the evil book on the equally evil fire somehow caused Meggan to revert back to her old self. With all of Excalibur free from mind control, issue # 7 had a happy ending. But, wait... weren't they supposed to rescue baby Nathan? Wasn't that why they travelled all the way from Great Britain to New York? 


Nope, unfortunately, Excalibur played no part in the final episode of Inferno. That was all up to the X-men and X-Factor. Fortunately, Claremont wrote this little scene in issue # 8, as a coda of sorts...



Yep, and that's all the influence Excalibur had on the Inferno... The only member who didn't end up mind controlled was Nightcrawler, who was already a demon to begin with. Great start for the new team, people!


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